Relationships & Friendships

"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." Arabian Proverb

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17

We are all created not in islolation but for relationships. We were conceived within relationships, and live our lives within relationships. Relationships are the core of our existence.

We need each other for survival - mentally, emotionally, economically, and spiritually. We need each other to achieve the greatest good and highest potential in us. When a man dies, even if he is a stranger, unknown and unrelated to us, part of humanity dies.

People who need people are the happiest people in the world.

Today, if I can bring gladness to someone's heart, peace to someone's soul, that will be a fabulous day.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me, and just be my friend." Albert Camus

Golden Rule of Relationship

A positive, trusting and harmonious relationship between peoples is a foundation for enduring Success.

I remembered there is a formula: R + R - R = R which means: Rules + Regulations - Relationship = Rebelliousness

Do you agree?

In fact there is a common 'Golden Rule' which is endorsed by all the world religious teachings:

"No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself" Islam, The Hadith

"What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow men. This is the entire Law: all the rest is commentary" Judaism, The Talmud, Shabbat

"This is the sum of duty: do naught to others which it done to thee would cause thee pain" Hinduism, The Mahabharata

"Tsekung asked,'Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?' Confucius replied, 'It is the word shu - reciprocity: Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you", Confucianism, Analects

"Try your best to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself, and you will find that this is the shortest way to benevolence"

Confucianism, Mencius

"Whatever is disagreeable to yourself do not do unto others"

Zorastriaism, Shayast

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sum up the Law and the Prophets", Bible, Matthew 7:12

And in the teaching of Sun Tzu with regards to relationship with soldiers and prisoners of war:

"Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys. Look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death!" - Sun Tzu, the Art of War

"Treat the prisoners of war well, and care for them. This is called "winning a battle and becoming stronger." Sun Tzu, the Art of War

What a wisdom ...a glorious teaching... so, simple yet so profound...

May this universal and timeless 'Golden Rule' of Relationship be engraved in our souls, our hearts, our minds...and do our best to put it into practice each day in our lives ...

Inspiration from a remarkable woman - Helen Keller

Helen Adams Keller (June 27, 1880 – June 1, 1968) was an American author, political activist, and lecturer. She was the first deafblind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.

The story of how Keller's teacher, Anne Sullivan, broke through the isolation imposed by a near complete lack of language, allowing the girl to blossom as she learned to communicate, has become known worldwide through the dramatic depictions of the play and film The Miracle Worker. (source: Wikepedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Keller )

Some of her inspirational words are below:

"Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye."

"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."

"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world."

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart."

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. "

"The highest result of education is tolerance. "

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

Power of Success through Harmony

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Many people thought that the book - "Sun Tzu, the art of war" is all about winning in war, conflict, survival and competition. This is partially true.

If you gain a deeper understanding of Sun Tzu's teaching, you will realize that he advocates a higher level of success – that of “winning whole” and of “winning without fighting”.

It’s more desirable to achieve success through harmony than conflict and destruction.

“Therefore the skillful leader subdues the enemy’s troops without any fighting; he captures their cities without laying siege to them; he overthrows their kingdom without lengthy operations in the field.”

Sun Tzu, is also a book about the art of peace.

Achieving success through harmonious relationship and balance of power and interests is more enduring and uplifting.

There is a wise chinese saying, "家和万事兴", which means when there is harmony in a family, everything will be prosperous and successful. This is true of a family, of an organization and of a nation. In contrast, a house that is divided against itself can not stand.

Isn't the success of Singapore an excellent example of the power of Harmony?

Striving to achieve harmony does not mean compromising your principles. Neither does it mean denying reality and blind to differences. But it means having the capacity to respect and tolerate differences. It means adopting a disposition of strength and humility to find creative solutions to conflicts. It means trying to appreciate the perspectives, feeling and constraints of others and the limitation of our own knowledge.

So today, speak well of your parents, siblings, spouse, children, bosses, leaders, teachers, neighbors, relatives, society, country, friends and enemies. And make it a joyous habit to do it everyday.

When we can look into the eyes of a fellow human being and reach out with peace, it doubles the joy of living.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

Matthew 5:9

Five Critical Virtues of a Leader

Leadership is the most important critical success factor in an organization or nation. Leadership cause a nation or organization to rise or fall.

In the mind of Sun Tzu, a Leader must possess the following five virtues:

• Wisdom,
• Integrity,
• Compassion,
• Courage,
• Discipline

In stark contrast to the five dangerous faults of a Leader, these five attributes of a Leader are critical for success and need to be cultivated within us through a lifelong process of self-development.

To what extent do you possess each of these virtues? Do you see a competent leader in you?

Five Dangerous Faults

The wisdom of Sun Tzu teaches us Five dangerous faults of a Leader which will cause great ineffectiveness and failures:

(1) Recklessness, which leads to destruction;

(2) Cowardice, which leads to capture

(3) Hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults;

(4) Delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame;

(5) Over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him to worry and trouble.

If we study cases of personal or business failures, the root cause can be traced back to one or more of the above faults.

In the pursuit of enduring success, these faults or weaknesses are to be overcome and avoided.

What are my weaknesses which can prevent me from achieving success in my life? How can I overcome these weaknesses?

Let this be a subject of meditation today.

Power of the Mind

Some people see things as they are and ask why.

Others dream things that never were and ask why not.

What your mind can conceive and believe, It Can ACHIEVE

Flying towards your Dreams.....

有梦想 就有 目标, 有 目标 就有 计划, 有 计划 就有 行动, 有行动 就有 成果, 有 成果 就有 梦想, 有梦想 就有 目标, 有 目标 就有 计划, 有计划 就有行动, 有行动 就有 成果, 有 成果 就有 梦想 . . . . .

With a dream, set goals; with goals, set plans; with plans, put into actions; with actions, reap rewards; with rewards, set new dreams; with new dreams, set new goals..new plans...new actions...new rewards...new dreams...

Life is like a cup of Coffee

Seasons of Life

Two men were walking together after a tough day at work. As they were walking, one was looking down at the dirt on the road, lamenting and cursing about the passing day…another was looking up at the stars in the sky, talking and dreaming about new possibilities of tomorrow…

What was happening?

They both had a tough day and in the same environment as they were walking in the night… yes, they were in the same external world…but no, they were miles apart in their inner worlds.

We are living on a shared space called planet earth. We breathe in the same air and take in the same sunshine and rain. The earth is rotating around the sun and giving us seasons irregardless of what we do on earth. There are laws of life governing the earth and the universe.

Life is like changing seasons in nature…spring, summer, autumn & winter . . .a journey of changing seasons.

Some of us are in a season of spring, some in summer, or autumn or winter. Change is constant in life. What season are you in right now? It doesn’t depend on your age, it depends on your inner world.

There are things we can change and things we can’t change. It’s part of the laws of life.

Sometimes peoples fear and reject change because of the perception of pain that it brings. Actually it is not change that brings the pain but the resistance to change is the pain.

Knowing what can be change and what can’t is a wisdom we need in life.

Sometimes we can change the external world and sometimes we can’t. But we can always change our inner worlds. Irregardless of the external world, it is possible to make our inner worlds peaceful and beautiful.

For things we can change, we need courage and wisdom to change for a better future. For things we can’t change, we need to adapt and accept the reality. When there is real peace within, we can calm the raging storm without.

Change can be positive or negative. Changing for the better or worst.

If we gain the wisdom of knowing how to change for the better, more and more each day, life become joyous and full of pleasant adventures.

May we call this the journey of success - an art of successful living?

Are you looking at the dirt on the road or stars in the sky?

What’s the season you are in right now? How was the smell of coffee this morning?

Thoughts for the day

On the journey of life, travel with three great friends...one is called Faith, another is Hope, and the greatest friend of all, is Love.

Success is a journey and not a destination. So, success is not permanent, neither is failure.

When you are down and out, Faith will light the way, Hope will help you stand, and Love will empower you to reach a higher ground.

Power for Success starts from Your Heart

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”. Proverbs (4:23)

Your heart is the source of all the issues in your life.
Your heart is the soil where the seeds of life are sown. In the course of time, the seeds of your life, both good and bad seeds, will grow into fruit-bearing trees in your life.

So, start sowing good seeds of success today...in due time, a harvest of great success will surely come.

In a profound way, the fruits of enduring success depends on your decisions and actions in cultivating what is in your heart.

What are good seeds of success? What are bad seeds of success?

What do you sow? We will reap what we sow, as govern by the law of success.

Overcoming Fear

In the school of success, the first lesson that we must learn is the lesson about 'Faith & Fear'.

What is the greatest enemy of your success? Answer: your fear. Fear has been and always will be the greatest enemy to fulfilling your human potential.

What is the most powerful resource for your success? Answer: your faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for. Faith is having confidence in what you believe.

The first step of success is to overcome the fear within us with faith.

When your mind is first defeated by a negative thought, or an emotion of fear, have you not been defeated already?

Most fears are learned from past negative experiences. A "learned helplessness" that condition a person to give up trying, giving up hope, and resign inwardly.

"Learned helplessness" - like an elephant conditioned from young by a chain that it could not break lose... when it became an adult elephant that has great strength, yet will not try breaking free from a chain that it can obviously break...this is like the shadow of fear within a person ...

The greatest prison is not made of bricks and mortar but made of fears, limiting thoughts, negative attitudes, wrong beliefs that buried deep within our minds.

But, my friend,

"Never fear shadows. They simply mean that there's a light somewhere nearby."

- Ruth E. Renkei

So, today, shine a light of faith on your shadow of fear.... smile and let peace reigns.

Take the first step of success today!

The Postures of Success

"Let your rapidity be that of the wind, your compactness that of the forest.

In raiding and plundering be like fire, is immovability like a mountain.

Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night,
and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt."

Wisdom from Sun Tzu, the art of war

Power for Success

Welcome to 'Journey of Success', our common space for learning about the subject on 'success'.

We all want success in all that we do. The pursuit of succcess and happiness are the basic drives and needs in life.

But life is complex and full of challenges. The experience of fears, anxieties, failures, dissapointments, helplessness are real in our lives. How do we overcome them? How can we live a life of abundance?

If you are seeking answers to these questions, this place is for you. Welcome to our school of success. Let's take a journey together for a time and a season.

Please check out my eBook on this subject, drawing wisdom from the Bible & Sun Tzu, which capature some of my thoughts on the subject.